So we know there's a problem...Now lets frind some solutions.

So, I will be rooting around the web searching for tools and solutions.  It is easier to prevent than it is to undo.  So you dads out there who are becoming visitors in your child(s) life, don't give up, don't despair, for your children's sake education yourself.  Peace...Follow the link...BigMamaBlaze

http://fathersrightslibrary.bravehost.com/discovery.html

I would like to wish you all a happy and prosperous new year. May all happiness' be yours 2011. BigMamaBlaze

Tom With Our Daughter Revised

Our daughter cannot wait to bread cows, and heifers.  More so she can't wait to be old enough to bread heifers.  She is quite sure she will be as good a farmer as her father is.  She is also grateful she is allowed to be a part of her father's life.  She understands what has happened with her older siblings and she has expressed her gratitude to me that she is free to be with her father when ever she likes.  She is proud to be a daughter of "the best farmer in the NW coast.  She takes pride in her father and his profession and will follow in his footsteps.  Our daughter is the 5th and youngest of my husbands children, and the only one with red hair like him.  He is SO proud that one of his children wants to follow in his footsteps. 

 "I'm not tired daddy".

He will continue to have a close loving relationship and attachment with her free of interference from me.  We are separated.  He is still my husband.  I will never divorce him.  I do not believe in divorce.  I believe this as strongly as I believe that my children deserve a mother and father in their lives.  This led me to choose adoption with my first child. My principles are imposed on me and me only. 

These pictures are of our daughter working on the farm with her father.  She was on a skid loader with her dad and he heard her snoring over the sound of the machine.  He giggled and poked her to wake her to ask if she would like to go home.  She asked, "Why daddy?"  He replied, "Because you are tired lovey".  "You are sleeping."  She replied, "I'm not tired daddy.  I want to be with you".  So he kept her and she went right back to sleep. 

"I love you soooo much!"

(I do not have permission to post our family photo from 2009, as there are mothers of my husband's other children. Without permission, I do not feel compfortable posting the handsome photos of Tom and his children.)

However, this is Clara.  She plays the piano, and she says, "I have over eight talents, and one day Oprah will see me, and she will see me and all my talents mom". 
Her dream is to be an japanimation artist, or work for Disney's Pixar, or Disney's Tristar. She is 8 and astounding.  I am not exaggerating.  I realize every parent believes this of their children.  But man, if you only knew.  Her understanding, wisdom, and unparalleled moral core are unbelieveable.  Whe is way beyond the average even advanced 8 year old.   She radiates inspiration and promise of a beautiful future.
I will walk with her as long as I live and as long as she wants me by her side.  I will love her through her pain.  I will teach her to speak respectfully her every thought.  I will help her navigate through difficulties and confusing times.  I will teach her dignity with failure, for it is how we sometimes learn and internalize our spirituality.  I will strive to be a mother she wants to emulate as my mother was for me.  I can only hope to be half the woman my mother was.  I love you Peggy...

Tom, you are a good man! I see you, I respect you. You will always have a relationship with Clara.

For my husband and all he does to support everyone. I love you. I appreciate you. I respect you. I hear you. I support your every dream. You are strong and stable and kind. I am blessed to have you as my friend. I love you Tom.  You will always have a relationship with your daughter Clara.  I choose to never take her away from you.  I choose to teach Clara to respect and honor you.  You are not her paycheck.  You are not endured to us.
You are free to love your daughter, Clara, and she is free to love you in return.  You will not hear her say to you, "you have to pay me $500.00/mo. hahahaha",  Or  "its about time you pay me what I am entitled to hahahaha". 
NEVER! will you hear our daughter speak to you this way!
You are free to have and develop a relationship with your daughter Clara as you see fit.   I choose not to alienate your daughter, Clara, from you.  There will be no emothional games, no emotional blackmail, no psychological terrorism, no blame shifting.  I chose to not treat you this way or parent our daughter, Clara, this way, you have my word...Peace...BigMamaBlaze